My Marriage Story -- Part 2

Marriage Date and Starting of Life:

Before the marriage date itself, I don’t had a good talking with MIL. But the girl told me that she is in so much love with me and if they stop marriage also we can ran away and marry like that.  

I haven’t participated in any marriage arrangements as I am away working in Bangalore and thought its better they can arrange everything. I left it in their hands. Yes. They arranged all and I should accept its good arrangements. And I informed to take care of Tambula Bag, previous night to marriage day when none of my friends nearby, I used MIL school students to pack the tambula bag. I was questioned for that through girl. And same day evening reception time, when my brother not ready to come to stage I thought someone said something to him. I told to my Wife, seems someone told something to him. later found it’s from my relative side.  (* But later I got accused in fight, as I accused her mom for that. I never said who said what also, but I was accused as I tortured the girl in that matter)

Girl called me in midnight before marriage and cried as she was scolded (As I used MIL students to pack tambula bag, after marriage two three days also I got words for that incident). 

As I don’t have father my father brother did all rituals as a parent. But later only heard that my uncle not even greeted or talked by girl family on the marriage day, they know each other before as well. *(when girl fought with me desperately one day, i dropped her in home. that day only they again called my uncle to complaint about me). 

Another story, as my school friends who came for marriage met with accident after drinks that too with my car. *(Later now only came to know with this reason, girl father tried to cancel the marriage saying it’s not good sign to my mom. but crowd started coming into the hall, he hasn’t done anything)

When taking photographs, photographer asked to give lot of poses. When I keeping my hands on her, she was afraid and said FIL is looking take out the hands like. And, when photographer asked her to tie hands, she asked photographer why always girl should tie hands, why can’t me. So, somehow, marriage got over.

After marriage we went to Girl home, and we got arranged for a suite room in a hotel. We started our life. Next day morning, my Wife got call from her mother. And she was questioned as how was the experience with some intimate questions. She was answering everything. I warned my Wife, how come you can answer all these questions, don’t share everything. She told me that, her mother checking whether she is happy or not that’s why these questions and all. I never cared that, I almost forget that at all.

But, Next day MIL talked in double meaning as I am strong like  :P :( :) .

When we were on the way to register office to register the marriage, MIL talked as she could have chosen some better person for her daughter. That time my Wife was saying to her mother, why I got good person like. L L L :D

When we planned for a trip outside country, and we had a small function to change Mangalyaam, I have asked car to go to gold smith, he refused to give car, so we went by two wheeler and changed mangalyaam to gold. When we starting to airport, Girl made a comment to her mother as “going on flight; you never went into airport at all”. MIL went out of my home and not ready to participate on function at all. Initial plan is to drop us in airport, but MIL was not ready to come to airport and she simply got down in the road, so FIL also got down. Finally, we went to airport to catch a flight. In Airport, immigration officials was enquiring a lot and asked how to believe that you people got married, I have shown marriage invitation but again he was saying this can be printed by anyone. Then he talked with FIL and we got exit from Airport.

After we reached destination, I got a message saying that it’s FIL, how can you fight with MIL and I am doing something to separate the girl from her parents. (I don’t think that this message is from FIL as he never uses whatsup). In the trip, when I met with my friend over abroad just made a comment that girl father not even ready to give car. My Wife fought with me for that comment. *(But, later came to know that my friend whom we met got scolding message from my Wife in April 10^th for no reason, I never asked to her why did you do that to her, I thought she is in so much stress don’t want to make her guilty by asking this. Now thinking whether she is mentally not well? How come she can scold an unknown person for no reason, thank god she had only that friend number only JJ  )

Once we back to India, my mom told me that, MIL never talked after we left India, and she never attended phone calls also, so night when myself and my Wife going to movie I asked about this. She told me that her mom is not well so not talked. I asked again how come she has not talked to my mom alone. She talked with you when we were out also. (Even, once we reached india she was talking over phone to her mother long time.) Same day, I even told her I asked this with you only. Don’t share this with your mother at all. Next day we dropped MIL in her school and all, I never know anything. Once I reach my home my sister was fighting with me saying what I did wrong. As her mother talking about divorce. *(MIL talked with my sister about this, and told that seems not good it’s better to get divorce). But, my Wife seeing that understood that my sister fighting with me for something.

Starting of the life itself, they started talking about divorce. Even, my Wife talked as she needs divorce in small fight. Yes, I also replied in same way later when she fighting a lot. Somehow, our divorce decision also started growing along with our start of life. 

My Marriage Story -- Part 1

Updating my old marriage story post and splitting as Parts. Yes. It's still not met with END card.

I should narrate my story to understand my pain and situation. At least I wanted to drain out my memory on this, so writing this. And as per my knowledge all are true. Few I might have missed out (But TRUTH is always BITTER) everyone will have different view from their viewing angle. From my Opponent point of view all these might have lies. But, I know.... they know what happened actually.  I really don’t know why these all happened for me also. 

I should accept that I could have also made some mistakes. And all persons will have different thinking. I could have did something better, but past is past. Nothing can’t be changed at any time. 

God have better plan than what I planned.  All this story started with March 2016 and Ended by May 27. 

Still Story never met with END card. Happening.... Let’s hope for better ending for all.

About Me:

I am the only person who taking cares of Sister, Handicapped Brother and two mothers. Father expired two years back. Working and managing the family. Ultimately I could have married after my sister, but this family came through Matrimony Site and mentioned that your sister is our daughter we can together settle her. That time never knew they came by seeing my salary (*Later when lot of issues, Girl’s mother mentioned as they fall prey to that salary L L ) I think, further don’t need an introduction about myself as most of you people know me for years.

About the marriage proposal:

And my first contact in that family always started with MIL (Mother in Law). And I explained the entire story behind me and if you ok we can proceed. She said you are open and liked that you told all. And further proceeded as Horoscope matching. I took some of my relatives and nearby home peoples and went for girl seeing.

I have asked with the Girl, how she is comfortable with me whether she like me or not. Even my relatives also took confirmation from the girl. And elders started talking further. But no dates decided on that day (Dec 21^st 2015).

But after that MIL started forcing me as they were getting lot other profiles so we should at least arrange for function. So agreed and had a function as engagement.

After that when we talk about Marriage date, I informed MIL as needed a time to settle my sister marriage before my marriage. But she mentioned that your sister is another daughter for us. We can arrange her marriage.  And as per horoscope this marriage should happen at earliest.

Same day my Wife also got scolding by her mom as why you urging for marriage? Are you rushing for sex? My Wife cried and supporting her I talked with MIL and asked her to say sorry to your daughter, She refused to say sorry. 

About the Girl Family,

As far as I understood, it’s my view on the girl family.

MIL – she is arrogant and sensitive fighting desperately for all (small problems also). She is the power centre of that family (Seen that, when FIL started talking something in flower market, MIL turned back and simply shown her hand to shut up, FIL stopped his talking in half words). Dominant and having control over the family, never seen any human using bad words this much, so much bad words, so much lies, so badly twisting the things. 

FIL – Thought he is cool but later only found that he also part of family? Before marriage itself he mentioned as he doesn’t like me and my financial situation. Girl and girl’s mother are OK with me so he is proceeding with marriage.

I never thought when looking for marriage; need to check about the parent’s behaviour and their relationships with others. (I missed out this).

Girl – I realized in beginning itself she is immature; rather she brought up in that way. I thought I can manage her. She is good in studies and working. But, when I realized that she never had much friends and always don’t had good opinion about her small friend circle as well, I worried and made a conclusion that she brought up in that way. And not had good opinion on any of their relatives as well *(later only came to know the whole family doesn’t have any good relationship with any of their relatives. Wife’s big moms said they were fighting all the time and last few years only at least we are talking)  

Still, she was moving good with me only and told as she was tortured her mom all the time and I came to rescue her. :) :(  .. *(Later, they made a partnership and tortured me all the time)

Never knew she is depending on her parents so much. She used to say she wanted to be independent on all, but she never been independent on her thinking, her words also. Everything in her life is going by the dictation of her mother. After marriage she fought with me in many instances, I feel everything was instructed to her, including the words used by her in quarrels.  

Never ready to believe anyone other than her parents. Her parents fought with me and informing her that I fought with them, she was fighting with me for that. If I say this what happened, she never ready to trust. Never knew before marriage she will be so much childish / innocent, sharing everything with her mother. She is believing her mom and Dad blindly / or never ready to accept reality. I should accept that, she is the only girl and there is always some possessive love.

Before the Marriage:

Meantime, I and my Wife were in love (I thought) over the weekends we were meeting together and thought we were in love. 

We were talking a lot, even my Wife mentioned to me as How you are maintaining good relationship with my mother? She won't talk with anyone good, she advised me to talk cautiously with her mother. 

And she also mentioned that after this marriage her parents going to apply for divorce, she mentioned at least her father can be peaceful. I mentioned every family will have quarrels and fights. 

I never believed when my Wife told me about her mother. 

Some interesting stories to add over here, for engagement myself and my Wife planned for purchase in Chennai. I was working in Bangalore, she was working in Chennai. One weekend, we planned for purchase. I booked ticket for both from her hometown and informed everyone as I am going Chennai from my home town. But, actual was we both planned to travel together. From my hometown I am travelling to her hometown to catch the bus to Chennai. She was dropped in bus stand by her parents. And they were waiting to leave bus stand after that bus departs. But, she have an empty seat, It was a good memory that without knowing her parents I reached bus stand and caught bus.  On next day, we were roaming as a fresh love birds in Chennai. All the two months before marriage almost every weekends I was travelling to Chennai,

We were roaming like anything staring from Anjeneya Temple L to Mahabalipuram. I can say we stayed together in resorts before marriage, but nothing serious between us. We were waiting to start our life after marriage only. Feb 14, we were together in one of the resort and roaming the pool, my Wife got a call from her mother and she was advising her to control my spending’s and I have a plan to spent money for my brother after marriage (As I have a plan to open a big shop for him after I earn money, I was telling this idea to MIL earlier). I was hearing everything over speaker as well. But, My Wife reacted that time well to her mother as this and all ok *(Later after marriage same girl only fought with me as I should not spent money for my family). And they were fighting each other). I got a call from FIL asking why she is so much angry now-a-days. She should take her tablets on time, like. I knew my Wife taking tablets for her thyroid and anxiety (forced by her parents, she told me that she feeling good why should take these many tablets like).  

10 days before marriage had an argument with my MIL, I pointed out one instance as she talked differently before. She got angry and fighting a lot and asking me how can you inquire about me (when discussing with their relative I came to know that she talked different with me, actual was different). She fought lot that too with lot of bad words. I informed about that incident to my Wife, she said her mother is like that only leave aside *(But later I got accused that I have tortured her mother in this incident, I only knows how bad MIL fighted with me) . I made line on whatsup as "We can't bark back to dog in the same way" (I know its direct hit, but I got scolded by MIL that much and made a comment, my Wife messaged me that time as it's a good tagline ) 

Even FIL (Father In Law) mentioned as I should not point out MIL at any time, need to talk very cautiously. All these time, there is always some problem between the girl and MIL. I interfered supporting girl always. In a fight, MIL informing me about girl's  old love earlier (I know the story before itself) Girl told me that how a mother is ready to ruin own daughter life like saying this. After that incident, I felt I am being treated badly by MIL. I stopped talking with her made a Whatsup DP as "என்னை மதிக்கத்தவர்களை நானும் மதிப்பதில்லை, தலைக்கணம் இல்லை .தன்மானம் "  I got forced to change that DP. 

And, about dowry.

From beginning of this proposal, I was denying to get anything from them (As I had a strong belief as I can earn myself for my life and getting anything as dowry is not good). But, MIL was saying to show their prestige to their relatives so at least I should accept 40 grams of Gold. The girl asked me to take that gold. I agreed. (Later nothing was given, that’s different story). *(Later after marriage, sometime my Wife fought as I am expecting money and dowry that's why I am not ready to meet her parents)

To be Continued ....