It seems you were promised something before marriage, but got something very different after marriage. I’m sure you were hoping for a lovely, well tempered, caring woman to be your wife, but instead got a bipolar shrew who cared more about your money than you, or even your love. If you wonder what a shrew is; a bad-tempered or aggressively assertive woman.
The first thing you need to realize is that if you had stayed with her, your life would have been a nightmare, or worse, and if you had children, they too would have been miserable as well. Children would have have forced you to deal with this family forever, so if you have a god that you pray to, thank him.
Be grateful as well, that her your ex wife and her family were unable to control their true selves, and that they showed just how unstable, violent and dysfunctional they truly were as a family. Any love your ex wife claimed she had for you were lies, because I don't believe she is capable of love, or ever knew what love was, and maybe she never will. She is just like her mother, a manipulator, and you shouldn't feel bad about divorcing this unloving, unstable individual. Whenever you start to miss her, just think of her mother and understand that your wife would have ended up being just like her.
I could go through and dissect your short relationship, but it wouldn't make any difference, you got out and were saved a lifetime of this inappropriate drama and misery.
The best thing to do is to get rid of all the photos and other reminders of her and her family, and to erase them from your phone and all your social media. With nothing to remind you day to day, it will help you to forget them. Focus on your job, family and friends and do the things that you enjoy and that make you happy.
If you feel yourself thinking about this too much, remember that it was an arranged marriage of deceit, lies and possible infidelity, and that it was not the love marriage you wished for, hoped for or deserved. Every time you notice yourself struggling with this divorce, remember every nasty, hateful, violent, argumentative moment with her and her family, and be grateful it's over and you have your life back.
You need to understand something, there is a kind, gentle, loving woman out there for you, but if you become angry and bitter over your ex wife and this divorce, then your heart won't be open to her, or finding her. If you don't let things go, your ex wife will have you miss out on love, again.
If you feel you contributed to the problems in any way, just remember something, anything you did or didn't do, should or shouldn't have done, was as a result of their lies and their emotional imbalance. You can't be rational and sensible with irrational and unstable people. If you feel you have some flaws, then work to overcome them and become the person you wish to be, but you can't be responsible for this fiasco.
Time will heal whatever hurt you may have, even the embarrassment you have over this divorce, so be patient with yourself. Many people, myself included, have married someone believing them to be one thing, only to find out after marriage, they were in fact someone else and abusive. I was grateful to have left my ex, and more so when I met and married my current husband. Don't dwell on a past, one that was a lie, but focus instead on today and on a positive future with a deserving woman.
Don’t become jaded or mistrusting, just take more time to find out about a person. Don't marry anyone unless you know them, and don't believe love happens immediately. Love takes time to build and grow as does trust. Don't marry someone who cannot make a decision without running to her family, or if her family disrespects you and can't be civil. Don't marry someone who always sides with her family, especially when they're wrong, or if they've treated you unfairly or lied. While in laws will be part of your future, they must understand boundaries and limits and respect. In-laws may be older, but they're not always wiser or smarter, and you need to make them understand that you are an adult, a respectable man with a job, and deserving the respect as their future son in-law. Respect goes both ways as well, so if you want respect, then you need to give respect, and if they want respect from you, they must also show respect.
I wish you well, and hope the road ahead for you is brighter and happier than the road behind you. Take care. :-)
